


A shadow moves to his right. A flash of red in the corner of his eye.

by CandidCuriosity



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Arkham Asylum, Bat Family, Batfamily Feels, Bruce Wayne - Freeform, Cassandra Cain - Freeform, Damian Wayne - Freeform, Dick Grayson - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Existentialism, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Metaphors, Stephanie Brown - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, or author thinks she is poetic, tim drake - Freeform, vaguely poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9829016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandidCuriosity/pseuds/CandidCuriosity
Summary: The shadow was there out of habit, out of conscious and very real fear of failure. Habit because he knows that there is no one there. But he can never be certain.The flash of red could be so many different things. A flash of red accompanied by yellow, and green, his past and ending. A flash of red, his sins, goals, and retribution?But no, he knows what that flash of red means, because if he catches it long enough it will turn green.Jason is bleeding out on the dirty floor of his second to worst safe-house, in the third worst part of Gotham. He has to make a choice. Seek help or succumb to the darkness always moving closer in the corner of his eye.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of these characters and I do apologize for all or any grammatical errors. 
> 
> It might be a drabble, it could be seen as a character study, and I have written nothing else but academic texts for a long time! So, I hope you will find it kudos worthy although its short.

A shadow moves to his right. A flash of red in the corner of his eye. 

It’s been raining for four days straight, with no sign of letting up. Rain does not mean that you cannot go out and feel it, the concept of rain is only constructed as something that makes you stay inside. Alas, the media might have something to do with your perception of rain as something bad, through endless repetitions of rain soaked funerals and storms that can do nothing but destroy. But staying inside when it rains, does not necessarily mean you stay inside because of the rain. Inside, four walls, ceiling and floor, and one dirty smudged widow water streaming down it is obscuring everything that might have been seen otherwise. 

The rain is trapping him, streams of water turning into bars and the insistent bussing of his broken refrigerator accompanied his thoughts on their steady rise and fall. Fall towards the dark void of fucking hopelessness cowering a pit of very resistant rage, and the rise towards actions that would eventually get him out of the door. Away from the four walls, ceiling and floor. 

The shadow is there out of habit, out of conscious and very real fear of failure. Habit because he knows that there is no one there. But he can never be certain. 

The flash of red could be so many different things. A flash of red accompanied by yellow, and green, his past and ending. A flash of red, his sins, goals, and retribution?   
But no, he knows what that flash of red means, because if he catches it long enough it will turn green. 

However, if it is a conscious reminder created by him or a sickness only growing stronger he would not know. Outside the room, it could even be real life flesh coming to haunt him. But inside the room? Well it grows smaller and smaller and harder to avoid the mental issue so to say. Or think, he has not uttered a sound in days. 

The shadow moves higher out of sight and reach. A brief moment of relief, until yet again it’s there as constant as the rain assaulting his windows. Assaulting his mind, his sanity. What sanity, a sane man would seek help. Maybe not directly related to the shadow, the flash of red now present in every new moment of his eye. Not yet taking any shape, he can still will it from manifesting. A sane man would at least seek help getting off the floor. 

Because that’s the truth of the situation; Jason Todd, laying on the dirty floor of his second to worst safe-house, in the third worst part of Gotham. It’s raining and the floor has been his home for the last 6 hours. Before that a bloodied street could have been his final resting place. But no, the Red Hood would not let himself be slaughtered like an animal by some lowlifes that happened to get lucky. That happened to just because they had brand new weapons, numbers, and be on Black mask’s payroll get the advantage and beat the shit out of a tired vigilante / rivalry crime lord. So here he was dying alone, laying on the dirty floor of his second to worst safe-house, in the third worst part of Gotham. 

But how is 6 hours slowly bleeding out alone any different than spending last weeks alone in his apartment, in the city. At least now he could see an end to it. Everyone is too busy with their own things, their own life threatening events. They do seem to experience them a bit too often. 

Should he call? Or has he fought long enough. He’s just so tired, he tried so hard. Because the truth of the situation is either give up and let the shadow win, or give up and call for help and let them win. To let them rescue him and seek the peace they want and need so badly. That he knows he needs, want and should want. But what if they do it for them and not for him. Justice before family? A long gone family but still. 

What if they throw him in Arkham and call it a day? 

The shadow would surely multiply to be shadows there, the red flash a solid thing. Because the walls of Arkham would become he’s last failure and he’d rather die quiet on his own, on his own floor than die screaming and defeated. Three cells down from the joker. Still by his own but without the choice. Fuck. The choice, he as to make a choice. He cannot just let it happen. Let death happen, fail to make up his mind about his goddamn life. 

But he is too late. He can feel his hart slowing down, se the grey edges of his vison grow alongside the shadow.   
But then, a sound reach him. The sound of footsteps on the roof and the fire escape. 

A new shadow falls over his face, through the window. Nearly extinguishing the cold grey light that had come from it. The shadow moves and it is real. It climbs in, water streaming from every leather clad surface. Mixing with his blood on the floor. 

There’s warm hands touching his face, on his neck, in his hair. Softly calling his name. 

“Jason?”   
What is his name even worth anymore? 

“Can you hear me?”  
Have you ever listened to me?

“Let us help you”  
I will only fail you again and again. How?

“Please look at me” 

But he can only see the filthy ceiling and shadows moving. One real touching him, a second smaller that followed through the window after the first talking to him, and a third crouching on the floor. A fourth moving in his mind. Warning him. The manor, the asylum, the dirty floor. What does he gain by giving value to any of them? Death is death no matter the room temperature. It screams at him, it its own way, when he chooses not to listen. 

Jason looks up at his brothers and reach for their help. Because dying in status quo is not really his style. If he had explosives maybe, but. But not like this. 

6 days later he wakes up with the sun in his face and the smell of Alfred’s home baked cookies in the air. Dick is reading by the side of his bed. Tim and Damien are playing chess in the back of the room bickering like real brothers. He can hear Stephanie’s wild laugh and Cassandra’s soft outside in the corridor. He meets Bruce’s eyes from the door, smiling.   
The war has deescalated, peace is won. He is safe, he can feel their love and hope. They chose family and he chose to try for them. Try to succeed. 

A shadow moves to his right. A flash of red in the corner of his eye. He was never alone in the dark and he can feel it moving closer. Cookies cannot cure what others cannot see.


End file.
